When they're not sorry
We've all been there. Someone wrongs us, unapologetically, then they move on, leaving us in the dust.
It's a tale as old as time: Injustice. I've found myself in these moments sitting there completely helpless thinking, "Now what? How can I move on from this? While I’m in all of this pain and agony, this person just walked away like it was nothing at all. And more importantly, where is God in all of this?"
I want you to know that YES you can move on from this, even when they're not sorry. And not only can you move on, you can be free. It will take time to heal from the injustice, but I promise there is hope.
I've experienced so much of this in my life, from the time I was young. Story after story of people mistreating me, betraying me, and using me for their personal gain. People who I thought I could trust - no apologies, no remorse, and no justice to be found.
These are the steps I try take when someone is attempting to destroy my life and isn't sorry:
Withdraw. Stepping away from the situation to process, meditate, pray and reflect does wonders. Whether that means going on a walk (or 10), talking with a trusted friend or family member, or journaling, withdrawing helps the mind decompress from a bad situation which is CRUCIAL for our wellbeing.
Address. Address the person who enacted evil on you. This doesn't mean acting cruel or malicious. This means being kind, but DIRECT. Even Jesus Himself was direct towards people who had evil in their hearts. Saying something like "You did this. This is how I feel. I want you to know why what you did wasn't ok."
Action. Set boundaries, then be determined to live a purposeful, fulfilling life. Action can mean so many things depending on the situation. That's where discernment and wisdom comes into play. But one thing is for certain no matter what - when you choose to live a purposeful, fulfilling life, you are unstoppable. Your enemies can't haunt you if you're busy.
Surrender. Once you've addressed the situation, it's time to surrender. You've done what you can do. "Let go, and let God" is an act of surrender when you've done all you can. It's not being a doormat, and it's NOT giving up. It's trusting that God sees so much more than we do, and He will fight our battles even when we're silent.
Perspective. "Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become an architect of your future" - Robin Sharma. I love this quote because it's a good reminder to not get stuck in the things we can no longer control. Focus on living the best life you can possibly live.
Forgive, now or someday. I say "someday" here, because forgiveness isn't cheap or easy. It can be a journey, not an event. If you're having trouble forgiving the person who isn't sorry, trust me - I get it. You're perfectly normal. As you continue to process what happened, remember that forgiveness does not mean trust. It simply means you are surrendering bitterness, resentment and anger, which will free you. The good news is that God can work on their heart so much better than we can. It definitely takes the pressure off to try to change the other person!
Can you share about a time you've experienced injustice before, and the person was not sorry? How did you handle it? What was the outcome?
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